In thinking about a certain idea, many sentences and ideas can be drawn by using detailed words within this idea.
This kind of sentence is confusing to me. At first glance I thought it said and meant something completely different, and there was a comma error in a list. When I realized that the word 'In' was not supposed to be 'I'm,' the first thing I noticed was the over-usage of the word idea. This sentence is so vague, that I don't really know what it is explaining. The punctuation of this is also confusing to me. In thinking about a certain idea, many sentences and ideas can be drawn, by using detailed word, and within this date are all confusing combinations of words to put together. Is there need for another comma? Where does that second one go? If I were to write this sentence, I would probably add a comma before within, just to be safe. Also, is this person talking about sentences he/she could write or specific examples from some text? I feel that I could better correct this sentence if I knew what it was about.
I agree, this sentence gives me headaches! I think that this sentence is more about a thesis statement and the paragraphs that can be derived from such sentence. I like your analysis of the sentence, it definitely needs some work.
ReplyDeleteHow many headaches? Any why? I think the sentence is promising but misguided. I feel like I know lots of young sentences like this one.
ReplyDeleteI felt the same way reading this sentence - nothing is being said! I wasn't sure how to correct this sentence either, since its meaning is so incredibly illusive. Blah!
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